Today I go in to OVR (Office of Vocational Rehabilitation) for my intake interview, and - possibly - a battery of tests. Personality, IQ, work preferences, interests...that sort of thing, all geared to help me find work and/or training for a new career so that I may support myself for the rest of my life.
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I've crammed for the IQ test and the others, but I think I might fail the personality test. I mean, how does one study for a personality test?
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I've practiced making lively, friendly facial gestures in the downstairs bathroom mirror, the mirror that makes me look less old and wrinkled. I call it my Enchanted Mirror. (It has to be enchanted or under some sort of spell not to reflect my true visage.) I've practiced being interested in other peoples' boring conversations, especially the self-absorbed people, whom I normally tune out after about thirty seconds. I've bitten my tongue when my bosses insult me and refrained from rolling my eyes when this one sexist pig of a creep tells me yet another dumb blonde or gay or lesbian joke. (I've gotten in his face about how stupid they are, but that only fueled his desire to bring me the latest sample of idiocy, so I don't bother with trying any more. I just take several very deep breaths and keep in mind that bashing him over the head with a file cabinet is not in my best interests - in the long run, anyway.)
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I've tried transcendental meditation, but there are so many voices and other noises in my head that I can never focus the way you're supposed to in order to get in the zone.
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Another reason I think I might fail the personality part of the tests is that I think you must have one to begin with, and I lost mine several years ago. I don't think this is one of those tests where multiple guess will work for me.
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For the other tests mentioned above, I am taking my thinking cap, several pencils and my best pencil sharpener, plus a really good eraser.
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For the Personality Test, I was thinking about taking my Warrior Goddess' claymore. Think that'll work?
(c) 2010 Martha McLemore
12 comments:
Having attended a number of job interviews in my time I found that most of them involved the interviewer telling me how good he or she was and how they had succeeded, making it difficult to get a word in edgeways, and a technique of interrupting without causing offence has to be adopted.
Sorry - I meant to say good luck.
You've got more personality than you give yourself credit for - it's very evident in your writing. I think you'll be fine - best of luck!
I'm sure you will do superbly, even on the personality test! I'd add courage and hard-working to your job worthy attributes! Good luck!
Listening is the most important interview skill. That, and smiling.
Probably the claymore isn't a great idea, since admitting you would kill people would fail the personality test.
When used appropriately, those personality tests can help us decide where we might be more comfortable, and that then suggests that we'll do better.
When they're used for selection, I sometimes show up with the opposing counsel.
Regardless, I'm pretty sure you'll blow them away, and do so in all the good ways!
I wonder what sort of personality test?
I just mentioned the Myers Briggs, which I found pretty interesting, once a real life person explained it to me, face to face.
Looking forward to hearing how it all goes.
(Keep breathing, that always works for me.)
Is that claymore the sword or the anti-personnel mine? Either would greatly expand your personality, the latter into tiny little bits.
I thought we were born with an IQ which remained immutable. I have carefully avoided finding out what mine is though others (the Royal Air Force, for instance) have measured it; in the RAF's case they decided to send me somewhere where I'd be bitten savagely by mosquitoes. Perhaps they thought this would stimulate IQ growth.
I wouldn't recommend the form of meditation which involves saying "Om mane padme hum." a thousand times a day. Office chat is often excruciatingly dull but this wouldn't add anything beneficial.
Take photos of your plumbing to the job interviews. To those testing plumbing skills say they're forms of abstract art, to the arty ones say they're plumbing. You'll come across as a real card.
It goes without saying you have all our best wishes in this enterprise. This is a tough row to hoe but if anyone can do it you can. I can only subside into my downstairs couch, grateful that for ten distinct and powerful reasons society sees me as unemployable. Bonne chance.
Lost your personality? Pshaw. Humor, determination, and thoughtfulness are three traits that come through in almost every one of your blog posts.
Good luck with test day. I hope the results will be full of information that points you in the best direction.
You might like to check out the cool video of crows coming home to roost, at momo's blog:
http://joannao.blogspot.com/2010/02/amazing-crow-video.html
I thought of you.
It's filmed about a mile from where I live.
Eye contact is a great substitute for a "personality" in interviews. I sometimes bring or wear a small object that channels my Warrior claymore energy for me so I can get through department meetings. good luck! Don't break any legs I wouldn't break.
Here I am, late to the party. Hope yesterday went well! I figure that as long as there weren't any spiders hanging around in the corners, you were unruffled and confident!
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