
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Make Way!

There's a Moon Out Tonight
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I Shall Try.
I found this at Whiskey River, one of my daily stops in Blogland:
- "Do you have doubts about life? Are you unsure if it is really worth the trouble? Look at the sky: that is for you. Look at each person's face as you pass them on the street: those faces are for you. And the street itself, and the ground under the street, and the ball of fire underneath the ground: all these things are for you. They are as much for you as they are for other people. Remember this when you wake up in the morning and think you have nothing. Stand up and face the east. Now praise the sky and praise the light within each person under the sky. It's okay to be unsure. But praise, praise, praise."
- Miranda July
And this, too:
- "Don't disregard your life. It is too precious. This moment, right now, is the only life you will ever have. You can't store it up for the ideal time. When you walk, walk with your whole body and mind joining the floor. Place your eyes in the soles of your feet, walking as if the floor were a dear friend. This is intimacy with all things, where the whole world is self, where there is no "outside" or other."
- Pat Phelan
Sunday, December 27, 2009
The Stripper
Not that kind of stripper.Saturday morning brought rain to town, and cold, toe-numbing, dampness into the house, so I decided to put up the foam weather stripping bought a few weeks ago...when it was still relatively warm outside. Package said it was a piece of cake (or words to that effect) to install. I like cake. A lot.
This was not a piece of cake. First I had to remove some pieces of old felt stripping that predated our ownership, probably by thirty years or more. Someone had pounded long tacks into the stuff and the tacks had rusted over the years. Several of the tack heads crumbled when I attempted to remove them. However, I realized (after the fourth tack and two skinned knuckles) that the old stuff had been applied to the wrong face of the door jamb, and the correct one had no felt stripping at all...and no tacks. I like no tacks. Almost as much as I like cake. But not quite.
This foam looks like grey marshmallow. It has sticky stuff on one side that could hold an alligator, in a full death roll, as still as stone. I learned this when I applied a strip to the hinge edge of the door jamb, in the wrong direction - could not close the door. Okay. No problem. I'll just use the carpet cutting blade of my utility pocket knife and scrape the strip off - easy-peasy, puddin' and pie. I like pie, too. A lot.
I don't like humble pie, though, and I had to eat a couple of slices of that after telling the Universe that this job was going to be easy-peasy, puddin' and...well, you know.
As I scraped (and scraped, and scraped) off the marshmallow strip from hell, I gathered it in my other hand, not thinking about the alligator bit. Finished with the removal from the door jamb, I then began the battle to remove it from my hand. Now, given that the wad of stripping was stuck rather firmly to the one hand, wouldn't you think it would occur to me that if I pulled at it with the empty hand that it would stick to that one as well? You're nodding your head, aren't you, amused at my stupidity. Unh-hunh. I can feel the vibrations through the keyboard.
Went into the kitchen for a paper towel to dispose of the mess now in both hands. The adhesive from the weather stripping is stronger than paper, and stronger than my will to remove the strips from my hands, my sight, my house. I now had weather stripping and shreds of paper towels in each hand.
A lock of hair fell across my face and I reached up to brush it aside. Oh. Yes. I. Did.
For nearly ten minutes I contemplated abandoning the house, getting into my truck and leaving the country. I could imagine the conversation at the border when I try to explain to the border guards about the grey worm-like appendages growing from each palm. I just hope they'd try patting me down, because I would return the favor, sticky worms and all. (Actually, that might be a whole lot of fun.)
After I yanked out a dozen or so hairs by the roots (none of them grey), I checked the cupboard in the bathroom for a solvent of some kind. Tried rubbing alcohol - no go. Then hairspray, witch hazel rub, hand cream and lip gloss - none of them worked, and now I was highly flammable as well as sticky. My hands were covered in a low-tech version of napalm.
I wanted to cry, but could only laugh. My hands reeked and were beginning to sting from all the things I used. Stumbled my way into the kitchen and used my elbow to lift the water lever and ran cold water over my hands. The grey marshmallow stuff soaks up water rather well, which shouldn't surprise me, I guess - it is foam, after all. The water made the foam heavy and it started to fall off my hands - well, most of it, anyway. Grabbed more paper towels and was able to pull off more of the stripping. Hurray! This is going to work out just fine.
Looked under the sink where I store all the other household chemicals, like lye, bleach, sulphuric acid and formaldehyde. No, no - only the usual stuff, honest. There used to be a bottle of degreaser gunk, but I used it a couple of years ago, to clean the outside of the stove. Went through my mental list of home remedies for household problems. I know that if bubble gum gets stuck in fabric, you can put it in the freezer and the gum will break off. In my case, my fingers would break off, and that was a tad too extreme a cure.
Then I remembered olive oil. Wonderful multi-purpose olive oil. It can be used to remove the adhesive left behind when you remove the price label from glass, metal and plastic goods. Found my bottle of extra-virgin, poured a little on each palm, and rubbed my hands together as if I were trying to start a fire with two sticks.
Ta-da! It worked!
After cleaning my hands of the oil, I returned to the original task and finished laying the stripping around the door jamb.
Not only is it warmer in the back room now, but it is also quieter - a welcome bonus. Next time I am faced with a sticky situation, I will reach for my bottle of olive oil, and all will be right as rain in no time at all.
I need to write this stuff down, because I'll likely forget it by the time I need it again.
I'll do that, just as soon as I have that piece of cake.
(c) 2009 Martha McLemore
Friday, December 25, 2009
All the Stockings Were Hung
Monday, December 21, 2009
All I Want for Christmas
I was thinking earlier about Santa and when I stopped believing in the possibility such a person existed. I was fourteen. What can I say, I'm a late-comer to most of life's Big Truths. It was three days before Christmas and my aunt was taking us home after having dinner with her and her family. Christmas in the New Orleans area can be cold, but it rarely ever snows there. I looked out the rear window of the station wagon at the full moon against a midnight-blue sky. A few long pale clouds sailed in front of the moon, darkening the earth below. Then they passed and the moonlight brightened everything almost as if the sun had come out. I thought of Clement Moore's poem about the night before Christmas and started to recite it. My youngest cousin was maybe seven years old, but he turned to me with a worldly smile and asked the question I'd tried to avoid ever since I was ten.
"You don't still believe in Santa Claus, do you?"
"Don't you?" I asked, trying not to answer his question.
That was the wrong thing to say.
"Hey, you guys," he yelled gleefully. "Guess who still believes in Santa! MARTHA!"
It wasn't that I didn't know who provided all the gifts under the tree each year. It was just that I didn't want to stop believing there was someone out there who knew what I wanted and, if I were good, really, really good, would see that I got my heart's desire.
What sealed it for me was when, instead of the record player I wanted, there was a 20-inch fashion doll (this was before Barbie, but the doll was a giant version of that) sitting under the tree with my name on it. Somewhere in my stash of old photos, there is one of me sitting in front of that horrendous aluminum, slice-and-dice, Christmas tree holding the doll in my lap. The smile on my face belies the disappointment inside. (Such an ungrateful wretch - probably shouldn't have received anything.)
Over the years whenever I've read the poem, or told little kids, "Yes, there really is a Santa Claus," I cringed inside at the memory. Now I say that many people believe in Santa, but I've not seen him yet.
Even so, this post was going to be a mock-serious letter to Santa, in which I was going to ask for selfish things like a magic heating-oil tank that refilled itself automatically, or money to pay the taxes so I can keep my home, or - I am chagrined to admit this - please, just let me win the big lottery. It was to be an attempt at humor to cover up or mask my whining - again.
Before I could get in the mood for writing such drivel, I stopped at the Whiskey River blog and found the following prayer, which humbled me and snapped me out of my pity-party. As I am now entering the winter of my life, these few words, laden with such meaning, are better than any letter to Santa, better than there being a Santa in the first place. And I have been good this year, and this is my heart's most secret desire.
- God, give us a long winter
and quiet music, and patient mouths,
and a little pride - before
our age ends.
Give us astonishment
and a flame, high, bright.
- Adam Zagajewski
If I don't get back here before Friday, let me wish you all a long winter filled with bright lights, songs and much love from those you hold dear.
(c)2009 Martha McLemore
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I Miss My Camera.

Saturday, December 19, 2009
SNOW!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Brrr-r-r-r-Grump!
Too Long for the Comment Box
BB, my dear friend,
I take issue, Friend, with your use of the word antipathy in describing my comments to you. I don't dislike you (- yet - and there is a big, teasing grin attached to that. I'm wise-cracking, BB.) I made my comments in teasing friendship, though in the one case, I likely misunderstood what you meant, that regarding squashes. (In my ignorance and misunderstanding, I didn't know if you were saying you couldn't eat them [for health reasons], or if they were unavailable to you [some squashes have a long growing season and need hotter summers than I thought England might have]. It didn't come across to me that your comment might mean you simply didn't like to eat them.) For me to continue on about squashes, at this point, though, would be like beating the proverbial dead horse.
So let's move on to the other two issues: the tongue-in-cheek remarks I made about the Irish-Americans in New Orleans on St. Patrick's Day, and your bread-crumb comment from an earlier posting about being of two minds regarding the independence of the American colony.
First, let me say that I believe American Irish are as different from Irish nationals as American Africans are from African nationals. We are Americans, who wear the trappings of our motherlands: trappings, burdens, prejudices and third- and fourth-generation memories. Both groups have romanticized views of what it means to be Irish and African, respectively, that are based not on first-hand experience gained from living in those countries (for the most part - always dangerous to speak in generalities, isn't it?) but on the biases of our cultures and the not-always-objective histories handed down to us. Make no mistake, however; we all are Americans, whether one sees that as a blessing or a curse. I think it's pretty cool, myself.
My understanding of the impact of the hostilities (civil war, really) between the Irish and the English in Northern Ireland is, obviously, not going to be the same as it would be for you. So let me apologize if my off-hand, meant-to-be-funny, remarks about Irish-Americans and their social ecumenicism - which lasts for the twenty-four hours of one day out of the year and is meant to be a sharing of fun and the joy of being Irish in a land where it is okay to be proud of your ancestral nationality - might have touched a heretofore unrecognized-by-me source of discomfort within your heart. I wrote that part of my post with a few people in mind, one of whom is you. The other intended targets who read this blog and are of Irish descent or from New Orleans would recognize the self-deprecating humor in the comments about what the Catholic Irish descendants in New Orleans might give thanks for and what the non-Irish Catholics might give thanks for. I had hoped you would take up the gauntlet, but I didn't know my remarks would be interpreted as antipathetic.
One of the things I most enjoy about our correspondences is that you, perhaps unintentionally, perhaps purposefully, drop little sparklies that catch my crow’s eye, leading me to investigate further. One such splinter of brightness was your reference to Barbara Tuchman’s history of the American Revolution. I quote: “Just reading a Barbara Tuchman account of how Britain lost that particular colony and, you know what?, it's left me in two minds.”
What a curious thing to say, I thought at the time, in response to a post about soup. I'm guessing that what triggered your comment was your expressed thought that you didn’t think anything could be bought for 32-cents anymore in the US, but still, it was the leap from discussing soup to political history that I found intriguing. Hence, my pursuit of that leap with you, which led, I think, to your second response above.
I think you do Americans a disservice in the paragraph which begins, "There is one further matter that needs clarification for US readers." Not every American is as ignorant as am I, BB, and - therefore - needful of clarification. But even I know the accepted view is that the British Empire began to unravel not with America's triumphant war of independence, but with the loss of its crown jewel, India, in the 30s and 40s of the past century. However, if Edmund Burke(*) is to be believed, it can be argued that the first snags in the cloth of the Empire actually began with the imperialism of the East India Company in the mid-1700s, which manifested in its heavy-handed dealings with the peoples of that nation. Certainly, the EIC's oppressive actions sowed the seeds of discontent that were, 200 years later, to bear fruit in India's fight for independence.
So, my dear friend, have I made my muddled thinking clearer, or have I made things worse? Have I misunderstood your intentions, your thoughts, again? And, finally, would you prefer we take any further discussions along these lines to email?
(*) I like to think it was Burke's education in a Quaker school that helped form his democratic – egalitarian, really - views of how to deal with one's citizenry. Too bad King George didn't listen. Too bad His Majesty's "star chamber" of advisors had taken control of the king. Any truth to the rumors that King George's mind was being systematically destroyed by poisons fed to him in his meals and wine, by members of his own family?
Martha
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Oh, Woe (PS: or not)
Say what? you ask.
I have lost my blessed fava bean, and now shall be penniless forever.
(You know there’s a story behind this, so grab a cuppa and I’ll tell you. I do have a fava stone, but it isn’t the same. Besides, that’s a story for another time; not much of one, but a family joke.)
When I was a young teen, in New Orleans, there were two pre-Easter “holy” days in the city: March 17th and March 19th, St. Patrick’s Day and St. Joseph’s Day, respectively. These celebrations were held (no surprises here) at St. Patrick’s on Camp Street, and St. Joseph Church on Tulane. These celebrations were not like Mardi Gras, by any means, but were something to see, for sure.
Participants in the St. Paddy’s parade frequently started the day with Mass at St. Pat’s where they expressed their gratitude for being, one, Catholic, and, two, Irish. They then went out and consumed huge quantities of fermented beverages to sustain them during the long march in the parade. Lots of good Irish fun and frivolity, and ecumenism – for on St. Patrick’s Day, not only was everyone Irish, they all were Catholic, too.
Two days later, at St. Joe’s on Tulane, the Italian segment of New Orleans had their own day of thanksgiving, when they praised God that they were, firstly, Catholic, and, secondly, not Irish.
(What is it about us Irish that makes others glad not to be us? It’s the same here in Hanover, where the German settlers pushed the Irish to the edge of town, to what is now McSherrystown, enclave of the Irish and their multitude of descendents. However, in the almost 200 years since the founding of this town, everyone lives pretty much where the heck they want, Catholic or not, and Irish or not. Besides, at least once a year, everyone is Catholic, and Irish. But, I digress.)
I don’t recall much about the St. Patrick’s Day celebrations at his namesake church, but I have strong, vivid memories of the Saint Joseph Altars on the steps of his namesake church. They were beautiful; feasts not only for the nose and mouth, but for the eyes, as well. (My gosh, I am drooling just thinking about them.) But that doesn’t even begin to explain their hold on me. Their magic had to do with living in poverty circumstances, when food was scarce, and not much to shout about when we did have it. Don’t get me wrong; my entire life has not been one of unrelenting deprivation, but when those times came, they were harsh and left scars I carry to this day.
The first time I passed St. Joseph’s Altar, I thought I must have died and gone to heaven. I was riding in the back of my Aunt Geraldine’s car, and I yelled out, “Look! Look at all that food!” After she recovered from the fright I caused, she explained that on St. Joseph’s Day, the parishioners made an altar to the saint on the steps of the church and laid out all kinds of foods which were blessed by the priest, then divided among the parishioners and given to the poor. The altar was their way of remembering a time of prolonged drought and severe famine in Sicily, when it seemed the drought would last forever, and the townsfolk were on the verge of starving. They had gone through all their stored foods and most of their livestock. The situation was so dire, they had begun to eat the same foods they fed their cattle and pigs.
When it seemed there was no hope left, they gathered to pray to Saint Joseph for mercy and a blessing. (St. Joseph, the step-father - so to speak - of Christ, is the patron saint of fathers everywhere, the protector of the family providers.) The rains came, the crops flourished and the peoples of Sicily – none of whom were Irish, I’m betting – gave thanks to St. Joseph by building an altar of thanksgiving to him, laying upon it some of the bounty of their harvests.
What does this have to do with fava beans? The food the Sicilians fed to their livestock was fava beans, not normally considered food for humans. At almost every St. Joseph Altar, in addition to the breads shaped like a ladder and hammers (St. Joseph was a carpenter, you know), you will find dried fava beans. They, too, are blessed with the rest of the feast, and are much prized and sought out by those who celebrate the miracle of Saint Joseph’s day.
The story goes that if you keep one of the beans with you at all times, in pocket or purse/wallet, your pocket/purse/wallet will never be empty. Another version is that you will never be hungry again. Either one works for me, but I stick with the first version because it is the one I heard when I attended my first altar, finally, five years ago.
I am neither Italian, nor Sicilian, nor Catholic. I am just an aging little Irish kid who treasured her fava bean for the story it carried with it, and the promise that I would never be broke or hungry again.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Not-Too-Bad Soup - a Recipe, of Sorts
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
So Far Today
- Awoke with a gushing nosebleed - thought I'd struck oil, or something
- Stepped on cat's tail as he was herding me away from the bathroom and toward his food dish. Serves him right that I dripped blood all over his head. After five or so minutes, nose stops bleeding. Cleaned up all the red drips. Fed the cat.
- Couldn't find my glasses, but didn't need them to fix tea and breakfast, so didn't worry about it.
- Sat at computer desk to eat (probably not a good idea) my breakfast of dippy eggs and toast soldiers. Noticed that a large-ish crumb of toast had landed on the keyboard. Thank goodness there was no egg on it. Picked it up and dropped it onto my plate, to be brushed into trash with other crumbs after I finished. It rolled over a couple of times...then unfolded its legs and tried to scurry away. Did I mention I couldn't find my glasses? When the leg count reached seven, I freaked. Glasses or no glasses, I knew it was a SPIDER!!!! Hopped up, screeching "Get away! Get away!"
- Startled the cat, who (unbeknownst to me) was stretched out behind my chair. In my haste to get away from the SPIDER, I rolled the desk chair across the cat's paw. He bit my left big toe in self defense. More of a warning bite, really. Didn't draw blood. Spilled my tea all over him and my jammies. He ran into the living room, I think. Found him in the chimney.
- Spent the next fifteen minutes trying to coax the cat down from the chimney ledge, my body wedged between the fireplace wall and the fire dog which toppled over when my butt hit it. Note to self: gotta lose a few pounds before I try this again.
- Cat tires of my attempts to smooth things over and leaps down, using my head as a step to the floor. Right behind him, a soot-covered mummified bird falls from the ledge into my lap. Yuck.
- Nose starts to bleed again. My once white t-shirt is now dotted with bright red blood and streaked with soot from the bird mummy. I crawl out of the fireplace, trying not to touch any of the furniture. Ran to the bathroom for a tissue to shove up my nose. I look like I've been mugged on my way home from Hell.
- I found my glasses. They were on the keyboard, at the dark end, away from the lamp.
- The SPIDER was sitting on them.
So, how has your day been so far?
PS: Why the picture of tomatoes, you ask? I was going to blog about making soup today, using Plutarch's recipe, but I got sidetracked.
(c) 2009 Martha McLemore
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Home, Sweet Home








Good luck charms.



Yummy Squash 