Home, Sweet Home

Because I burdened all who visit here with tales of woe regarding my daughter and grandson, I thought it only right to let you know their lives have taken a turn for the better. They have found a home in a wonderful apartment building (pictured above) here in town, just a few blocks from my house.

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The apartment building's "life" story has elements that echo my daughter's life. Both were at one time vibrant, busy and active. Both fell on hard times that led to decline and apathy, plus depression in my daughter's case. Both were rescued, rehabilitated and brought back to life after a period of decay.

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The apartment building started life as a factory, where Hanover Shoes were made. This was one of the industries that helped make Hanover a bustling manufacturing town for about fifty years. It had been sitting empty, windows broken out, graffiti-marked, when we first moved to town over 24 years ago. The building was vandalized, stripped of anything valuable, and became an abandoned derelict that cost the town thousands of dollars in lost revenue. The out-of-state owner refused to sell it or let it be torn down, and had no interest in restoring it for any purpose. I don't know how many years back-taxes he owed, but it was significant. The building became home to vagrants and thousands of pigeons and rats, feral dogs and cats. In fact, the place had fallen into such a shabby state that the local fire department, housed just down the block, went on record that should the building catch fire, they would push the walls in rather than try to save it.

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After many years wrangling with different redevelopers, the owner was persuaded (some say forcefully persuaded) to sell to the current owners. There has long been a need for low-income housing in our town, but plans for building such accommodations were always met with strong resistance. However, the current owners presented plans which overcame area residents' fears of public housing (read ghetto - their perception), and we now have a beautifully redesigned, repurposed apartment complex available to low-to-moderate income families and seniors. Enough about the apartment building.

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If you were here when I wrote about evicting Daughter and Grandson from my home, you'll recall that my beloved daughter had slipped into such a sad state that she had pretty much given up trying to care for herself and her son. It didn't help her for me to continue bailing her out. She became dependent and even more deeply depressed. Her life skills, so to speak, weakened and she was going deeper into debt than she was when she moved in with me the year before.

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The first three or four weeks they lived at the motel she was in a state of shock. Almost every cent she had coming in went to pay rent for their room. She had little money left over to buy gas or feed herself during the day. She had reached a very low spot and considered giving up all together. Often the only meal she had was the one we shared at my house each evening. (Donovan had breakfast and lunch provided at his school.) It hurt deeply to watch her struggle with their situation, but I knew that if I did more to solve her dilemma, I would only be making things worse for them. Knowing that, however, did nothing to ease my Mom-guilt.

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My daughter is an intelligent human being, a magnificent problem-solver and organizer, creative and innovative, hard-working and diligent - except when it comes to her personal life when she falls into depression. Yet, something snapped in her, about a month into living in that motel. She took the reins of her life back into her own hands and said, essentially, "Enough of this crap!"

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For many years, Karie volunteered with a group called Survivors, for victims of emotional and physical abuse. She knew all the social agencies to contact to get help for the women who came to the agency, and was a strong advocate and mentor for women leaving abusive relationships, since she had done the same. Now she became an advocate for herself and for her son. Having to fight for herself and Donovan snapped her out of the decline she was in. She applied to homeless shelters, to several low-income apartment complexes and to privately owned apartments. She sought and obtained a financial counselor for help with her money management problems.

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One of the results of her new-found strength and determination is that they now have a lovely two-bedroom apartment in a recently remodeled, secure apartment building that has almost everything they need within walking distance of their new home. The apartment is on the top floor of the building, is spacious, bright and airy - very nice. Karie gave me the grand tour this morning. She hopes to finish moving in over the weekend.

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She is so excited and happy with the way her life is turning around. She has every reason to feel proud of her accomplishments. I am also proud of her, happy for them both and greatly relieved. We all can breathe a little easier now.

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She informed me that we're having Christmas at her house this year, the first of many, I hope. Thank you, Universe, for helping my daughter find herself again.

(c) 2009 Martha McLemore