The Crow: June 2020

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

No Words of My Own

Emmolation of America

Another four o'clock in the morning; can't get to sleep yet. I try not to watch news stories; can't fix anything. I stare out the windows of my daughter's fourth-floor apartment, watching the night trains roll by The apartment shakes from trains on the closest track, twenty yards from the building. I feel detached, isolated; numb.

Jumbled thoughts rule my brain; nothing makes sense, there is no order to any of it. Everything is raw, bloodied and bruised.

I seek solace in music. Solace isn't the right word: distraction, probably. This morning the song is "It's Been Burning for a While" by Chris Pearce.

Outside the morning bird choruses are beginning; time to go to bed.

1030AM, with first coffee of the day before I go vote: WORDS OF WONDER

Meaningful Quotes

"We are displaced by time."

-Marian Marshall Suplee Griest, late (first) mother-in-law, spoken to me in January 1994, in a dream after her death.

"We've got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen." - D. H. Lawrence (via Whiskey River, 8-22-2014)

"There is something scary about letting ourselves
go. It means that we will screw up, that we will relinquish the possibility of perfection. It means that we will say things we didn't mean to say and express feelings we can't explain. It means that we will be onstage and not have complete control, that we won't know what we're going to play until we begin,
until the bow is drawn across the strings.

While this spontaneous method might be frightening, it's also an extremely valuable source of creativity. The lesson about letting go is that we contain our own creativity. We are so worried about playing the wrong note or saying the wrong thing that we end up with nothing at all." - Jonah Lehrer (via Whiskey River, 10/22/2014)