I am faced with a task as onerous to me as cleaning King Augeas' stables was for Hercules, although my place doesn't stink as bad, nor does it have any horse/cattle manure. Lots of SPIDER(!!) poop, though. Since I don't have a couple of rivers nearby whose streams I could divert to flush out my "stable," I'm forced to look for more modern equipment...heavy-duty equipment, the likes of which O-Cedar broom-makers only wish their products could emulate.
I'm talking earth-movers here, Peeps. In particular, the Bobcat MT52, as seen above. (BB, check out the specs, linked under the picture. Sweet, hunh?) This baby comes with all kinds of attachments: plow blade, front-end loader bucket, post hole digger and the most bodacious revolving snow-terminator whatchamacallit I've ever seen - and its blades are blue, Lucy! That beautiful October-sky blue that you like. It might be the snow-terminator that won my heart. I can just see me throwing snow over Mike's fence next winter with the MT52. For that matter, I might even start a new business for myself and Donovan. Yeah! McLemore and Grandson Movers, Inc.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Cleaning my stable.
I am amazed at the amount of crap Ex-B and I have accumulated in the 25-plus years of our relationship. Most of it is junk, and will be tossed/plowed out, though it must have been very important to us at the time we acquired it. There are bundles of ham-radio (his) and writers (mine) magazines collecting dust throughout the house, not to mention hundreds of orphaned computer and radio parts (his) and teapots, art supplies and how-to books (all mine) cluttering shelves in every room that has shelves. This is just the house; haven't even thought about tackling the tool shed, workshop or the barn!
Oh, and dust-bunnies! Out the wah-zoo-o-o-o-o! (No wonder I'm asthmatic!) These are no ordinary dust-bunnies, either, but tumbleweed-sized globs of dead skin cells (human and other animal), hairs (human, cats and dog) SPIDER!! bodies (murdered and naturally-expired) insect body-parts (murdered leftovers from SPIDER!! feasts), toast and other food crumbs, flakes of backyard soil (composition unknown - and let's leave it at that), plus copious quantities of star dust, automotive exhaust particles, microscopic ashes from the few times we used the fireplace, and who-knows-what-else. I've gone through a year's supply of vacuum bags in two days trying to suck up this stuff. I swear to you, Friends of the Blogosphere, I think they're cloning themselves even as we speak, doubling in mass every thirteen seconds.
I might have to widen the doors to get the MT52 into the house, and obtain a hazardous/toxic waste site permit for the back yard to clean up my house (and my life, too, I guess) but it will be worth it...trust me.
(I would post pictures, but my pride won't let me embarrass myself by doing so.)
17 comments:
It'll feel so good when it stops, really. Maybe I'll post a visual for I deserve a medal on my blog, I mean something people can copy and present to themselves on their blogs.
Yumm... the Bobcat MT52... now that's a boy toy and eye candy rolled into one (it's a man thing).
I watch a few episodes of How Clean Is Your House when I need inspiration.
They are why I now clean with vinegar, a bit of rubbing alcohol, (all diluted with water, and a drop of dishwashing liquid) and salt to scrub with. I prefer a few drops of eucalyptus in them to kill dust mites, but tea tree oil is no doubt good too.
Just keep at it, it's always worth it. Amazing how much space it frees up. You wouldn't think dust would take up so much, but it really does.
Coool machine, good luck w/the job. Looks like one can do a fair 'mount o' damage to accumulated stuff with it. Won't the tracks damage the floors in the house?
I know all about the Bobcat; I even know what genus of equipment it belongs to: it's a skidsteer loader. Certainly THE tool for assisting in the cathartic process you are engaged in. I would of course question your ability to spell some of the attachments. As you know, we got there first and call them pluffs.
Given that you've assumed the form of a dust-djinn it's time to go all the way. Get rid of those writers' magazines on the justification that you know all that stuff, anyway. You may try giving the orphaned computer parts to a techno-museum although anything more than three years old may not actually be recognised. A wind of change is blowing, said our prime minister Macmillan when he visited South Africa during the apartheid era, and a good many years later it finally blew Mandela in through the door. This is your Mandela moment.
Susan/AS: Don't know about a medal - for me, anyway - but one of those little gold stars we used to get on our school work would be very nice. (I didn't always get a gold star, but I was always thrilled when I did.)
:)
Steve: Now, see here, young man! Those mechanized toys aren't just for boys, you know. There are lots of us girls who get pumped over such things, too. You should see my tool box and the larger tools in my workshop...and I'm still looking for things to add to my arsenal.
Y'know...I could ride that MT52 to work, too, if I had to.
:)
Zhoen: I've never been the best housekeeper, but I had lost interest in most things domestic for too many years. It's a real eye-opener to see what a mess awaits me. But, as you say, it is worth tackling the job. I do feel better with what I've already accomplished.
:)
RR: I wondered about that, myself. I'm thinking rubber tracks might save the floors, though they could stand to be refinished, anyway.
:)
BB:
I had a feeling I wasn't telling you anything new, regarding the Bobcat. What I like most about this one is, as I mentioned, the snow-pluffer (did I get that right?), as much for the pretty blue blades as for the power it has to clear away tons of snow.
Most of the old computer stuff is history, though I might try to salvage some for daughter and grandson to use. But you're right about how fast this stuff ages - faster than mold grows on cheese, or dust forms a bunny.
Did I ever mention that I like wind? I hope this wind of change will help me clean out my house - and the cobwebs in my spirit, too.
Say...could you use some Writer's Digest magazines? Most of them have Larry Block's column. Just asking...
;D
But the blades won't stay blue when they're all covered in dirt...
I feel I musst be a very sad and unreconstructed kind of drudge person because I am still getting quite genuine pleasure from having defrosted the big freezer. Our neighbours gave it to us about six years ago and I don't believe I've defrosted it since, but the big snow-in meant that we ate enough of our stored leftovers and suchlike that were taking up space in it that I could. If your place was the Augean stables mine was like where those poor wee Danaide lasses had to keep pouring water through sieves - I kept mopping and mopping and still it flowed on. But the sense of clear, clean free space really is delightful, something like a purging, or a detox.
Anyway, good courage!
Just a giant vacuum cleaner for me, one big enough to suck up knitting needles and stained clothing and reams of paper without clogging. Of course this Bobcat machine looks like it would ruin the carpets and then I could start over there! Thanks for stopping by my place. I enjoyed the way my film was interrupted, just like l'astronave's film.
Hmm ... any wild yeasts flying about? Perhaps I should try fermenting a Belgian Ale there!
Moderation word = satedom
I congratulate you on your perseverance. It seems no matter where we stop the stuff (as George Carlin put so well) piles up around us. I have no idea how it is that for every bag of groceries we seem to carry out three bags of garbage. It's some sort of ironic mystery of life. We'd be up to our eyes in junk if it weren't for the fact we've moved house with some frequency.
you could have a dust bunnie parade....
maybe not.
I won a dust ball contest while I was in university... I cultivated it for months, but from the sounds of yours, I was a pathetic amateur.
good luck..... any machines that can help, I hope you are able to procure them
Sounds as if cleaning up the house and stable /shed in order to make a fresh start are all a cathartic experience for you. You are to be commended for your vibrant attitude and clear thinking and I wish you well on the road ahead.
Best wishes
A friend of mine rented a Shopvac. I finally purchased the nuclear-powered Dyson pet hair vaccum. Expensive, but works for my allergies, mylong haired cat, and NO BAGS EVER AGAIN. It sucks up the stuff, and then you have the enormous satisfaction of pushing a lever and watching the bottom of the cannister open over the garbage bag to dump out all the spider bits, etc.)Did I mention no bags?
Maybe someone you know will let you borrow one.
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