Can't sleep, again.
Delayed reaction to meeting with Ex-B, to discuss settlement phase of divorce proceedings. He doesn't want to sign the agreement my attorney wrote up, and I will not sign the agreement Ex-B wants. Looks like we are at a stalemate.
What troubles me - at least, what's on my brain's front burner every time I woke up tonight - is how I'm going to pay the back taxes so I don't lose the house. I'm certain there is a solution to this, and that I will find it. Time is a factor (isn't it always?), so I need to consider some possibilities for quickly obtaining funds.
If I were younger, and pretty, and unscrupulous, and truly desperate, I would sell my body. But I couldn't even sell it for parts these days, so that option is out of the question. (I take too many medications for a variety of illnesses, plus my age and neglect of my health would prevent selling spare parts. Besides, if my kidneys were healthy, I know someone I would give one to, not sell it.)
I have an antique quilt - 168 years old - in pretty good condition, which has an appraised value of a little over four thousand dollars. However, in this economy, I doubt it would fetch more than a hundred. Something to consider, though.
Could have a yard sale. Except for the quilt, there is nothing of any significant value in the few things I own. But you never know what people will buy at yard sales, so perhaps I shouldn't be so dismissive.
My car, a 1992 GMC Jimmy, might bring a couple of hundred, perhaps more, if sold for parts or scrap. Another possibility. (First, though, I'd have to remove all the duct tape that holds it together.)
If I were a good writer, I could sell the story of my marriage to Ex-B. Not exactly a page-turner, and somewhat sordid, so I wouldn't know how to market it. (Besides, I would be too embarrassed to have anyone know how I was hoodwinked for more than 25 years. I'm supposedly too smart for that kind of stuff. HA! The joke's on me. Hey! Maybe if I wrote it as a comedy? That might work. Or as a psychosexual mystery/thriller? God knows, I have tons of material for any genre.) That's a good long-term idea, but I need something I can turn to cash a bit sooner than that. Another something to think about.
Well, my insomnia has run its course and I'm suddenly bone-tired. I'll just have to worry about this tomorrow.
Wait...it is tomorrow. Oh, bother.
Delayed reaction to meeting with Ex-B, to discuss settlement phase of divorce proceedings. He doesn't want to sign the agreement my attorney wrote up, and I will not sign the agreement Ex-B wants. Looks like we are at a stalemate.
What troubles me - at least, what's on my brain's front burner every time I woke up tonight - is how I'm going to pay the back taxes so I don't lose the house. I'm certain there is a solution to this, and that I will find it. Time is a factor (isn't it always?), so I need to consider some possibilities for quickly obtaining funds.
If I were younger, and pretty, and unscrupulous, and truly desperate, I would sell my body. But I couldn't even sell it for parts these days, so that option is out of the question. (I take too many medications for a variety of illnesses, plus my age and neglect of my health would prevent selling spare parts. Besides, if my kidneys were healthy, I know someone I would give one to, not sell it.)
I have an antique quilt - 168 years old - in pretty good condition, which has an appraised value of a little over four thousand dollars. However, in this economy, I doubt it would fetch more than a hundred. Something to consider, though.
Could have a yard sale. Except for the quilt, there is nothing of any significant value in the few things I own. But you never know what people will buy at yard sales, so perhaps I shouldn't be so dismissive.
My car, a 1992 GMC Jimmy, might bring a couple of hundred, perhaps more, if sold for parts or scrap. Another possibility. (First, though, I'd have to remove all the duct tape that holds it together.)
If I were a good writer, I could sell the story of my marriage to Ex-B. Not exactly a page-turner, and somewhat sordid, so I wouldn't know how to market it. (Besides, I would be too embarrassed to have anyone know how I was hoodwinked for more than 25 years. I'm supposedly too smart for that kind of stuff. HA! The joke's on me. Hey! Maybe if I wrote it as a comedy? That might work. Or as a psychosexual mystery/thriller? God knows, I have tons of material for any genre.) That's a good long-term idea, but I need something I can turn to cash a bit sooner than that. Another something to think about.
Well, my insomnia has run its course and I'm suddenly bone-tired. I'll just have to worry about this tomorrow.
Wait...it is tomorrow. Oh, bother.
18 comments:
This goes with the preceding post really; I'm just using the most convenient letterbox.
Sonnet – Science substitutes for sex
I sigh, I pluck the lute, I turn to Keats
The world, my mistress, is too grand for me.
Her essence is a series of defeats
For my blunt intellectuality.
I ache with lust and would grasp more of her
If I could understand her secrecy
But she is power and charm and gold and myrrh
Bound in the maths of atomicity.
I may not love her but at least I flirt
With tiny glimpses of her gorgeousness
The lens of science renders me alert
To here and there within her boundlessness
I’m pandered to by Maxwell, Gauss and Bohr
Whose protons skate the surface I adore.
NOTE: (1) Atomicity is a made-up word.
(2) Pander has a darker meaning.
(3) Last line: not good physics.
It matters not, dear Bard, which comment box you used. This is flipping magnificent.
Well done, BB! Well done!
(Post this at your site, so that it will have the wider audience it deserves.)
Night thinking never works for me... my mind just goes round in circles. But it's so hard getting off the merry-go-round...
There is always time for a nap.
Times like this I wish I were immensely wealthy, and could just make such problems go away.
Yard sales, estate sales, can really add up. Worth the doing.
My cure for insomnia which rarely failed was to write a speech for myself to deliver on a solemn occasion. Invariably I would be asleep by the third sentence. But this would not be of use to any one who lacked my oratorical disabilites.
As a fellow-insomniac, I empathize. Sometimes, I can get quite creative with the ideas except then I get too excited to sleep. Sometimes I read dry boring stuff and it works, but sometimes my eyes are too tired to stay open yet can't sleep. Sleepytime tea only means more visits to the WC. Writing a blog post, like you... hmm will have to try it, except it takes me too long and then it's morning. Oh bother.
Worrying is the worst, I wish a worry-doll could help!
Ah, interestingly I was just talking to an astrologer friend this afternoon and she said Pisces (Feb 18- March 18 this year) is a good time for jettisoning the inessentials...
Sounds like having or preparing for a garage sale might/could fit the bill?
Money... I'm with Zhoen--I wish I were rich and could dispense grants.
You'd deserve a generous one to take a year or two off to write, or whatever you want!
Is there a way you could contact the tax office to request a payment plan? I hope it's something fairly simple and straightforward to solve. The comedy version of a marriage gone wrong could be a best seller in the long run.
Steve: It is a merry-go-round, isn't it? And a roller-coaster, too.
Zhoen: Naps are very good. I took one this afternoon. I wish, too, that I had the means to help others. Thank you. Spoke with daughter about a joint yard sale venture once the weather warms.
Plutarch, I'll try your solution. I doubt I could write a decent speech, if my life depended on it. Not to mention, I'd fail at giving one.
Marja-Leena: A worry doll is something new to me. My former m-i-l used to carry worry stones in her pockets. There is one good to come for worrying: it forces me to brainstorm for solutions, which is helpful.
Fresca: A garage/yard sale might help. So will a second job, even if it's temporary. That's where OVR will help. I'd love to have a year to write! I appreciate your (and Zhoen's) kind thoughts regarding grants. I'll get this worked out, but thank you.
Susan, I did call the tax office on Friday, the day after I met with Ex-B. They make payment plans starting in the second week of July, but it will help my cause if I send payments in now, which I will do. The tax sale list comes out in September, so I have a little more time than I thought to find the funds. Might have a couple of yard sales.
I worry too much sometimes, but worrying makes me think harder, and that's when I find the answers I need.
Thanks, everyone.
I never, ever trust decisions that I make at 2 a.m. You are at your looniest then and something that seems like it might work at that time, probably will actually not work at all.
Try thinking about it right when you get up. I am amazed at how lucid I am.
Maria, that sounds like good advice.
In this case, I had been asleep for a few hours, then woke up at 12:15, then again at 1:45, then finally at 2:45 and couldn't get back to sleep, So I brainstormed, being silly, but letting my brain wrestle out the worry instead of trying to ignore it...which wasn't working.
I do keep a pad of paper and a pen on the bedside table to jot down ideas that come in my more lucid moments.
Thank you for visiting my blog and for congratulating me and my town on our survival of the great tsunami of '10.
The whatever's going around that will not go away kept me awake half the night, coughing and coughing. I never have useful thoughts when ill or awake in the early a.m!
I hope your money problems abate. So many are in this fix, including a lot of my friends.
I am holding a thought for you in my heart, Sofie. May all things work together for your good.
I used to have a boss who strode across to my office in the morning first thing to talk to me about what he had written down beside his bed after worrying himself into the wee small hours of the morning.
I used to say to him things invariably appear much worse at some ungodly hour in the morning.
I’m sure I can’t add much to the other bloggers good advice since I am not familiar with your definitive position.
Is there a possibility your ex could pay the back taxes now and deduct it from any settlement to give you more breathing space or alternatively to use any equity in your house (if you have any) for a short term loan repayable in the near future assuming that is available.
Could you take in a border? I guess you may have already considered such aspects but it seems to me a question of buying some time from one or more of the parties none of whom will gain from taking legal or recovery action so there is usually a chance for compromise.
Best wishes
Very nice sheeps. Seeing them jumping I couldn´t sleep too, he, he...
The pen and paper on the nightstand is a good idea that works for me. And a half-pint of nice ale with hops before bedtime has the effect of making one sleepy. Hope it all falls into place for you. Keep your ears stiff and don't stand still (good things, I've found, don't come to those who wait ... you've gotta be active. Just think of all the heroines in fairy tales. Things got better for them because they went out and did something).
Suggestions for the insomnia seem to be easier to come by than for the money worries. On the other hand if you are better rested then other matters are a bit easier to cope with. I sometimes make alphabetical lists of anything at all - rude names for your ex is a possibility - and generally don't get much beyond p or q. If that's looking too easy I might start at z and go backwards.
Another job is perhaps a council of perfection, but probably would be the best solution if you could do it, not least because for a time at least it might make you feel better, that you were taking control, and might help 'changer les idees' as they say here. The sale isn't a bad idea, but I would hesitate before parting with the quilt for a desultory sum, I think that might be quite a depressing thing to have to do for little return.
Doing something is good, as Rouchswalwe says, but keep calm and stay open to possibilities, rather than rushing into ill-conceived action in a panic, especially things you might conceive at 2 in the morning!
And remember, you aren't alone. Talk to people, get lots of advice, share the load as best you can, and hang on in there.
May all be well with you in this difficult time. When the horrors that people inflict on one another seem too much to bear -- hold on to dear memories of better times, talk with your friends, and dream of a future to come.
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