Thank you, everyone, for taking the time from your lives to respond to my last couple of postings. Writing to this blog has always seemed to me a little like tossing a message in a bottle onto the open seas: I want my message to be read (for reasons I’m still analyzing), yet I’m always somewhat surprised when it is, and the reader responds. That you respond with kindness and thoughtfulness to a stranger adds to the wonder of it all.
Tomorrow marks two weeks since daughter and grandson have moved out. We’ve had some rough patches, but we are hanging in there. Two days after they moved out, Donovan’s cat had to be put to sleep – feline leukemia. Donovan was broken-hearted, as you might expect, but seems to have moved forward. We have one cat left of the original three I found last year, and it has become Donovan’s new pet. At least, that’s Donovan’s point of view. The cat isn’t so sure.
Kareema, my daughter, has her ups and downs; seems scattered, emotionally. She admits to being scared, and cries easily at times. However, she is a strong person when she puts her mind and heart into it; one of the qualities that make her a very good employee, oddly enough. Kareema is an intelligent human being, a first-class problem-solver – when it isn’t her problem she’s having to solve. I do believe she has the ability to overcome this latest challenge. I’ve seen her do it before; differing circumstances, but with confidence and determination, she succeeded. She’s still in shock, I think. She hasn’t been this far down for quite awhile, and accepting her current situation is a hard blow to absorb.
We are getting through these rough first days of adjustment fairly well, I think. (Hope I’m not deluding myself, always a possibility.) Donovan helped me clean out the gutter along the sunroom roof on Saturday (I don’t do ladders very well anymore) and did some other odd jobs around the house, which made him feel useful and needed. He’s such a good kid.
We get together every day, at supper. Sharing our evening meal helps us stay connected, helps Karie and Donovan feel less alone (me, too), and lets me keep an eye on how they’re doing, emotionally.
I don’t want to turn this blog into a soap opera, so I’ll move on to other subjects. This post is to tell you all how much your kindness means to me, and to let you know we are going to be okay. Might be rough and scary in spots, but we are together and we have much love for one another, so we’ll do just fine.
11 comments:
(o)
Thanks for the update - I know just what you mean about not wanting your blog to be a soap opera, to feel obliged to keep feeding it with your troubles. But that's not primarily for your readers' benefit but for yours.
It seems good to me that you're wanting to move on to other subjects, and maybe finding some pleasure and peace from other things again, to detach from your daughter's problems, so they're not consuming and using you up.
But it's your space, use it how you feel like. We can't always just briskly move on, everyone gets down sometimes, and if you need to offload, that's what we're here for.
Now, on to that sad and sinister insect poem...
How great that you are still having dinner together every day. That has to be important to all of you...
xoxox
I, too, have been reading your posts but have not commented very often. Typical male - "I don't know what to say."
Zhoen: Hope you are feeling better today.
:)
Lucy: We will have some days that are better than others, to be sure. I also think the worst of the shock is behind us. Kareema and I had lunch together today. She seems in better spirits and has begun planning for the future. She isn't making pie-in-the-sky kinds of plans, but realistic, carefully thought out plans, which I find encouraging. She has a number of options for training in new fields, has made contact with a couple of social agencies that specialize in working with kids like Donovan...that sort of rational, practical and responsible behavior she does so well when she takes control.
This challenge isn't over yet, but I believe she's going to come out a champion.
:)
e: I think getting together each day for a meal and some hugs have helped all of us weather the painful transition better than I expected we might so far. I think we three needed to know we are still family, something we just recently touched on at supper. This is important, as you noted.
:)
Cat: Well, imagine my surprise to learn you're a guy! I've thought you a woman, but I don't know why that is.
As for not knowing what to say, I've felt the same way over the last few weeks, always worried I would say the wrong thing and make the situation worse.
Nice of you to drop by. Thanks.
:)
It's amazing and wonderful that you do this daily. You can check in, give love, give sustenance, and still allow her to regain control of her own life.
my best, Crow
xo
erin
I'm glad to know things are beginning to work out for all of you. Love is the hardest thing.
I haven't commented as it would have seemed trite to do so. What could I say that ould be of use? I would have felt almost as though I were intruding, if that makes any sense.
But I have read and here I am letting you know that I have.
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