There is a side benefit of coming to the library to blog. I am getting out in the world again, instead of hiding in my house. I was hoping to walk up here today, but the weather was fouler than I wanted to endure, so I drove. Until I can get a bike to ride, I plan to walk up, a distance of about 1.5 miles from home, a good short jaunt. I am terribly out of shape, and a short walk is a good way to ease back into a fitness program. My heart will thank me for it, I know.
There is a different crowd at the computer bank this morning, and there are lots of empty chairs around the table, unlike my first visit here. Today, most of the people here are in their late-forties, or fifties, with a sprinkling of us in our early-to-mid sixties. Everyone is quiet, respectful of their neighbors; products of stricter libraries, no doubt, in their formative years.
I noticed the last time I was here that several of the younger (younger than 50, that is) people were doing job searches. There are 12 computers in this bank and five of them were looking for work, including The Miner. (I overheard her say to the fellow to her left that she had been looking on Craig's List and another job-search site I can't recall. He asked her what kind of work she was looking for. She replied that her only experience so far had been with several local fast-food restaurants. I think I know why she is out of work.) That's almost 42% of the users out of work, or under-employed. I hope that doesn't represent the percentage of the local out-of-work population, or we are doomed.
Ah, things are looking up. A dear soul who loves to talk to anyone and everyone, loudly and non-stop, has joined us. She speaks in exclamations, something I haven't encountered since working on the psych ward at Charleston Naval Hospital, many years ago. I think I have seen her hanging out on The Square, among the homeless and indigent. Maybe she comes here for the company, or to get in out of the weather. She's pretty savvy with the computer, though, so I wonder what's her story, why she appears to be homeless and not wrapped too tightly.
On the other hand, maybe I am the one not wrapped so tight, you know? For the last five years, I have slowly, inexorably, withdrawn from society, partly due to The Octopus, partly in shame because of the circumstances around my divorce from Ex-B and my increasing level of poverty. I spend my time between my job (my only contact with other people on a regular basis, besides Daughter and Grandson) and The Warren (my rabbit-hole house). I think having to give up my Internet connection at home will prove to be a godsend, for it is forcing me to be "among them" again. I see I have a period of adjustment to get through, learning to be accepting of my fellows, instead of wishing this computer were in a three-walled cubicle where they can't see me, and I can't see or hear them.
Wow! This isn't what I expected to blog about today, but I think I'll let it be. Maybe Computer #4 has some power to elicit truth from its user; a key, perhaps, that opens doors sealed for years and years.
Or, maybe I'm beginning to disengage from the Unreal life I've been leading, moving toward something a bit more Real, if such a thing exists. Stay tuned.
10 comments:
The best lessons are the ones we would never have chosen to accept.
It is good to get out. Reality checks are best cashed.
It all sounds good, dear Crow! I remember once when our server was down, I went to the library to use theirs, but didn't get to know any other users who were mostly just quickly looking up items in the library catalogue as I usually do too.
I can understand. We have two computers here and a generally trustworthy internet connection so there's no reason to go back to the Starbucks but that's where we spent a lot of time when we first arrived in town. Going back now or going to the computer center at the library might be interesting and would certainly get me out of my own often apartment bound rut. Your stories about your library companions are most encouraging.
That library is a fascinating place, and so is the honesty of your words.
Glad that you are blogging again, I also enjoyed your description of fellow computer users in the library. They seem to be an inspiration of a sort. Sometimes circumstances move to open new and unexpected pathways. I hope they do for you and that things will now begin to look up.
There is a good mix of people who use our library computers too, although there are a few regulars who come almost daily. Many use ours for job searches and to write resumes, etc. too. Getting out to walk and being around others may be good for lifting your spirits in ways you didn't expect. I know getting out for a walk, even when I have to force myself to go, usually makes me feel better after getting some fresh air and exercise.
The library always provided this function but via newspaper small ads rather than a computer. In Gorgon Times (set in the late eighties) Hatch contests use of a library newspaper with an old man. In admitting that he only wants the small ads Hatch reveals he's out of work. The old man, initially cranky and possessive, concedes the bit Hatch wants. He opens his mouth - perhaps to sympathise with Hatch - then possibly realises that unemployment isn't a subject for casual chat. The failure of conversations to begin: very much an English phenomenon.
In a weaselly sort of way I might say it's proof I sympathise. But perhaps that's a bit too facile. I do, as I hope you know.
Perhaps it was the walk that shook your thinking loose. John Boy Walton once commented about having his best thoughts while riding the old mule. I find locomotion also helps, which is good because mules are a scare commodity these days. Too bad we don't much ride jackasses, what with them being in a great abundance throughout this world these days.
So - is it a bad or a good thing that you had to give up your computer?
This is a subject that Chinese philosophers have been addressing for centuries.
Real or virtual? Virtual or real?
I've been moving more to the idea that the distinction itself is wrong. I have friends on-line whom I have never seen, I have to deal in "real" life with all sorts of people with whom I don't connect in any "real" way.
There's life, and that which is meaningful and authentic in it, no matter where you find it.
Oh, and you can find it anywhere. Libraries are good places ...
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